


6 Weeks

by leopardlynx



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst without plot, M/M, Poetry, prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-12 04:51:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15332178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leopardlynx/pseuds/leopardlynx
Summary: It’s getting lighter outside, the moon kisses goodbye to her stars. Yuzuru is drained, his feet are tempered, and there’s a clock. 6 weeks left, until the Olympics greeted excited young athletes and relived the parted skaters memories with them. Yuzuru wondered if his memory would be relived in another skater this time, or if he could rebuild his past again.6 weeks, until the day Yuzuru would lose faith in his body or thank it profusely.6 weeks, until Yuzuru either died or rebirthed for a new goal.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IvyPrincess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyPrincess/gifts), [Uzuchi2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uzuchi2/gifts).



> random drabble of angst without much plot, kinda a draft.
> 
> I love helpful criticism and comments! Obviously, this is a work of fiction and is not intended to be taken as the truth or a 'reenactment' of reality, even though the characters are real people. If you are in anyway offended by this fic please click the 'back' button on your screen. No need to pain yourself reading this

His fingers brush against the scratched ice. Tiny shards twinkle up at him, as if the night sky was trapped before a thin wall of frozen translucency.  

The rink is darkly lit as if its a gala show, where everyone is stated and watching with sleepy eyes, and mistakes are smiled at. But unlike a gala show, there is no audience to please. 

Yuzuru doesn’t quite remember the last time he was completely alone in a rink, when he wasn’t under the watchful, calculating gaze of competitors and coaches and mothers. 

He wonders if he pushes himself to please them, to look strong, or if he hurts himself falling to sedate the monster in his chest wanting  _ more _ . He wonders if he’s lost the ability to skate for himself. 

Yuzuru remembers a song, gentle words in the gusting winds of toronto. He remembered it was after practice and there was a storm and  _ so much water _ , so he entered a coffee shop for the first time in canada to escape the memories of  _ home _ . The shop sang soft, lilting songs; love that could be interpreted in a million different ways. If the song’s thrumming guitars were opening spins, the lyrics were the jumps, the main steps, the decider of the dancing souls in the program. And since every program, touched by different cultures and personal experiences, was of a different language, Yuzuru wasn’t sure if he understood this particular song. 

But Yuzuru is Yuzuru, and he will try to understand everything until his mind starts making up explanations for every lilting note. He will start with raw illegible movements that would slowly develop into a story. 

And so he skates. Mindlessly - his heartbeat thrumming to his ears, hidden drums leading the spontaneous steps- twizzles followed by trembling arms held precariously in front of him.

His fingertips strain for something more, reaching for somewhere that Yuzuru doesn't think he’s ever reached, somewhere he wants to explore and build a life but cannot; he’s far too deeply in love with the ice. 

He turns, right leg swinging forward scraping across the ice, a quad salchow, a jump he chased after for years, something he finally held in his hands, slowly becoming dependable, a friend - the ice is not his friend this time. He falls, the elegant illusion shatters. 

The music floating through every movement stops -halts in the air, folding in on itself, heartbeat skipping, legs giving out under him as his ankles realise two blades were just _not_ _enough_ to hold him up. It was like he was seventeen again, trying skills far beyond his reach, when his greed for gold and praise was the devil dancing with him under the fluorescent lights of a dimly lit rink. And when ever he fell, Greed scoffed in contempt, tails twisting around his body until Yuzuru stood again on shaking ankles and jumped again and again. 

People said a part of him died inside. But Yuzuru could feel everything, as if his insides and feet had been swathed with warm boots and dark comfort - and now was suddenly exposed, vulnerable, shying away from the bright lights of the rink. A rubber band stretched too far, cracks lining the sides and ready to snap. 

Not snapped  _ yet _ . 

It’s getting lighter outside, the moon kisses goodbye to her stars. Yuzuru is drained, his feet are tempered, and there’s a clock. 6 weeks left, until the Olympics greeted excited young athletes and relived the parted skaters memories with them. Yuzuru wondered if his memory would be relived in another skater this time, or if he could rebuild his past again. 

6 weeks, until the day Yuzuru would lose faith in his body or thank it profusely. 

6 weeks, until Yuzuru either died or rebirthed for a new goal. 


	2. Just promise me that.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Javier wakes up to nothing. Oh, how the ice drags in the sleepless. 
> 
> ~~~~
> 
> “I will, Havi. But promise me.”  
> “Anything.”  
> “Just promise me that.”

Javier stirred, drowsy in the lights of the sunrise filtering through the , flinging his arms to hug in - a pillow. And air. Something was amiss - it was as if someone rearranged the room completely flipped around, familiar yet  _ missing _ something - Javier blinked blearily and patted at the pillowcase in front of him. An empty pillowcase. He shook off his sleep, hands clutching at the damp side of the bed where his boyfriend was supposed to be. The pillowcase was damp as well - meaning  _ tears _ . 

“Yuzuru?”

Javier called out into the empty room, then noticed his neatly folded training undergarments and a skate bag.  _ One _ skate bag. There was the severe lack of black blades and tiny shirts. 

“Oh god.” Javier ran his hands through his hair in despair. Of course Yuzuru would pull this, the man couldn’t bear to be away from the ice for so long. There was a swirling pool of guilt and worry churning in his stomach; he let out a furious grunt and started pulling on his clothes. 

Yuzuru would be found once again. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Yuzuru!” Javier shouted through the halls of the cricket club, checking in locker rooms and resting areas, even through he knew the only place Yuzuru would stay in would be the rink itself. 

“Yuzu-” He halted at the sight before him. Yuzuru, normally so strong and willful, like a reed unwilling to snap and preferring to sway in the wind - collapsed on the ice clutching at his ankles. Javier kept his eyes on him as he roughly shoved his skates on, black strands crossing over another loosely. He rushed over to Yuzuru - the latter merely giving a small shake of his head as a greeting. 

“Yuzuru, what were you  _ thinking _ ? Coming to the rink on your own? Skating in  _ that _ condition-” He noticed Yuzuru curling up towards himself, a shell forming across his back. “-Yuzuru,” Javier softened his voice, kneeling down on splayed shards of furious ice. “Yuzuru  _ please _ . Please come back to me, oh Yuzuru, I know how you feel-”  

“Do you?”

A harsh voice matching the bitter ice. 

“You tie your skate messy. I… can’t” A wrenching sob, ice like tears meeting cold surfaces. “I  _ can’t _ Havi. I can’t do Quad Sal, I - Triple Axel is messy- Havi,  _ how _ am I going to Olympics when my ankle is so weak?”

“You are strong,  querido - you can get through this like all the other times you’ve beaten millions of odds - But oh, Yuzuru, you must  _ sleep _ .” 

Javier did not see the utter despair in Yuzuru’s eyes as he rises from his fetal position. He did not see steeled determination gracing one ankle, the other wishing to hide in swathed blankets. He did not see  _ Yuzuru _ , full of contrasting storms that all wished to be the largest. But he saw his limping lover, saw a man that he loves in pain, and that was enough. Javier gently stopped Yuzuru from going on another step sequence yet to master without throbbing daggers in boots, large hands clasping trembling shoulders. 

“Please, querido. Come  _ home _ .” Javier knew the ice could ruin Yuzuru, build him up again, and tear him back down. He knew Yuzuru needed warmth away from the ice, because the ice was finicky and had no regrets. 

“Please.” Yuzuru’s entire build sagged, all energy bleeding out and becoming another entrapped crystal in the ice’s collection. Hie eyes shifted from worn, tightly coiled laces in loose hurries, knuckles turning white and tears welling up once again. 

“I will, Havi. But promise me.”

“Anything.”

“Just promise me  _ that _ .”

**Author's Note:**

> come join our discord server! It's full of screaming about le skaters and positivity. https://discord.gg/ysBmtmG
> 
> written with this song in mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFw7AaBxatA


End file.
